>>54734398
Fuck I really need a good feel thread right now, here goes nothing.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9OfBcjyxKY
Feel like this entire song was written for me.
>have first serious gf four years ago in high school
>free drinks, free coke, she's a party girl and I had no love for her so i was just in for the ride
>three to four months later accidentally say I love you when seeing her off, she says it back
>oh fuck what did I do
>stops partying going out
>she wants to quit drugs, spend everyday with me nonstop, all night long calls, really starting to love this girl
>heard rumors from when we where first dating, of course party whore
>bothers me a lot, start doing a shitload of pills and hallucinogenics to keep a hold and not freak out on anything
>find out she cheated
>she breaks down in tears telling me, tries to run off says she doesn't deserve the life she fucked up
>console her, don't know if I'll stay with her, just want her to be alright
>week later she comes from the doctor, she has cancer
>has to go to treatments, says it's not lethal but it'll develop over time
>years pass, love and hate this girl so much
>I feel trapped, keep doing more and more drugs until I experience ego death
>I don't make jokes anymore, don't do anything I used to do, everyone who really knew me tells me they know something is wrong or different
>goes on like this for two years, break ups inbetween all our arguments
>she goes to a university a small drive away from town, I'm at community
>constantly spend nights with her, partying goes down nonstop there
>she eventually has a nervous breakdown and I stop talking to her, constantly tries to kill herself and play on my emotions
>eventually after she almost succeeded bring her to hte police station, she's put in a psyche ward
>goes in and out in and out for a year, eventually I go to the same university she's at
>she wakes up with blood on her sheets from the tumor growing in her cervix
>constantly drunk, I'm constantly on pills
1/2