| >> | No.36004365 >>36004264 Perhaps in some kind of defiant response to Moby's four page "lecture" on what's right and wrong, and how he's such a jolly nice bloke and a clean liver and doesn't beat up children and stuff, a bullet pointed tirade that neatly accompanies pictures of Moby jumping up and down like a non-meat eating, non-drinking loon on the inside cover of Play, I have devised a rather careless and extremely deadly drinking game to accompany this release. I call it the "Stick Your Straight Edge Veganism Up Your Arse, Drink Til You Think Moby Play Us Another Whilst I Down Another" game, soon to be converted into a board game and sold in all local high street branches of Woolworths to corrupt and lobotomize the children of the next generation. And here are the rules:
1) Each time you hear a voice that sounds like it might have been lifted from a very rare recording of pre-Civil War, deep Southern US slaves singing their sorrow as they work on their oppressor's plantations in the blistering heat, you have to drink four fingers from a pint glass full of Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort, or any other confederate themed alcoholic drink which weighs in at above 20% proof. For those unaccustomed to drinking games you must beat yourself like a sinning Catholic and then get someone to demonstrate that four fingers is the amount of alcohol that is covered by your four fingers clasping your pint glass, or roughly a shit load of spirits.
2) Any time you feel strangely compelled to go out and buy a new Nissan, some Adidas merchandise, a new Jaguar (to replace your old one), a Nokia phone, anything with an Intel Pentium processor in it or a bar of Galaxy chocolate, you have to drink the bodyweight of your first pet unless this was a fish and then you must drink the alcoholic equivalent of the volume of water you allowed said fish to live in. |