This whole of chop chop chop made me kek but specifically this part:
"I asked a pornstar if he was still doing films and he said yeah and if i was interested in raping young girls on a fort-nightly basis I should send him a few naked photo's to his e-mail adress sadtwat, .cunt.uk, so I went in to the loo got my phone out and took a picture of the large shit hanging out of my hairy fucking arse, i wipe my arse and sprinkle the last few crumbs of stone into a roll-up, I walked up to the bouncer, i lit up, what the fucks he gonna do, fucking beetroot head. I walk back into the club, i seen the pornstar dancing, i walked up to him i slammed my phone into his face, here's the fucking photograph you wanted you fucking rapist!"