>tfw finally in a really good, interesting relationship 6 months back knew the girl cut herself and had self consciousness issues but i knew i could help her. i just knew i could
>happiest i'd been in years, not a problem in the world
>gf has first suicide attempt, have to talk her out of slitting her wrists over the phone while im hundreds of miles away on vacation
>many come after, i'd stay awake until 4am making sure to the best of my ability she would still be alive when i woke up
>says she needs time to get shit straight, break up for about a month, still missing her terribly, start smoking because fuck it
>get back together, shit got worse, she gets put on a combo of Zoloft and Kolonopin.
>finally am able to convince her to give her razors she used to cut herself to me (and by convinced i mean threatened with police action)
>try to help her all i can, feel useless because none of it helps. she acts like im an asshole for no good reason.
>calls me selfish, even though like stated before i'd stay up until 3-4 am just to make sure she was alive, not to mention i got her something almost every time i went anywhere.
>feel selfish, her friends start acting like im a terrible person
>another suicide attempt happens, she mixed Zoloft, Kolonopin, and drank a hefty amount of vodka, as well as attempted to slit her wrists in a drunken stupor.
>this one didn't work, but she writes a note to one of her friends, councilor intercepts it and reads it.
>calls her parents, they find out i smoke cigs and weed as well as other drugs, call me a bad influence. her friends think likewise. them and her now ignore me like im not even there, not so much as a glance in my direction
>Break up about a month ago.
>listen to Hospice, realize i was in a pretty fucked up relationship and she was the fucked one, not me.
>trying to comprehend everything.