>>52381519
Continued
>>52381558
It isn't. I still love this girl
Since we were all older at this time, we were more familiar with kissing, and for some of us, sex.
I decided that I didn't want to live with myself regretting that I didn't make a move, so I hinted a lot about kissing. Eventually she took it and we started to kiss.
For what felt like forever, we made out with me sitting on the couch and her on top of me. It was my first kiss, and to this day, my favourite one. I have kissed about 7 women.
After a while a friend came and it got awkward so we stopped. Later on in the night a group of us sat down to talk and she said that she felt a connection. I was drunk and really dumb, so I tried to come off as a chad.
I said "ehh, I didn't really feel anything". She started to whimper and left the room.
Even thinking about it brings tears. I missed out on possibly doing something more with the woman, whom at this point, I have loved for about 5 years.
She didn't talk to me for a while, but it all blew over when a us and a bunch of friends went on a group trip to another country.
We talked privately again, and she said I was her best friend, which hurt a lot, but I deserved it.
She has another boyfriend now, and I'm still in love with her. I'm in my final year of school, and am hoping to distance myself from her to get over it, but she's applying to similar unis as me and wants to keep in touch.
What could have been 2.5 years of being with a girl that I loved dissipated after I made a stupid drunken remark.
She is literally perfect. And I can't be with her.
It's been 6 months since I've even kissed a girl.