/mu/ - Music (Temp full images)

>>55224182

<3

Music used to make me feel good. Now it doesn't

The derealization is fucking me up. I don't know what's going on anymore, where i am. Will i ever be ok? Will i ever live life and end up having a family? I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life

music for this feel please

God no
i eventually find a way to fuck up anything good that happens to me. my demons finally caught up to me the other night when me and some friends were doing some yay bumps. i accidentally scooped a bit of my friends pile, and without even thinking, after he took it away from me, i slapped my face to the table and snorted any little bit i could get.
i'm losing control of my life. i keep falling for the same girl. after fucking up my first chance by getting too close to her too fast, i'm trying again. i don't know if she even cares about me anymore, but i'll try. she's worth the hurt.
my music's the only thing that keeps me going anymore. clinging to a dream that one day i'll be able to support myself solely with my music.
it's hard to keep going.

>Across the Sea
>After using Vicodin for 2 weeks straight with no break, every night I went through withdrawal sickness. Two days later I was back to using
>last night, me and friends are crushing up xanax and oxy and coke to bump
>we're all bumping it, and after finishing my section something took over me, making me plop my face into his pile after being denied and snorted it all
>friends all get scared, not pissed, say they just saw a side of me they didn't know existed
>think over it afterwards
>Realize that being molested at a young age (9 or 10) wired my brain something else
>have been battling depression, finding drugs made me forget who i was, making life enjoyable for a few hours
>realized i use drugs as a coping mechanism, after waking up to me having wrote suicide letters, personalized to different people
>am currently weaning off the pills
>reevaluating my life